Failure Pt 2

All I wanted was to be happy.

I wanted to love you and be there for you.

You were supposed to love me completely.

And the masses are screaming,

"GET OVER IT!"

But I can't!

I did everything.

Sacrificed so much of myself.

It was supposed to be my final battle.

I'm always on the battlefield.

So, where's my soldier!?

He left me.

Left me for dead.

And somehow, I survived.

WHY!? Why God?

What am I to do on this plane?

I want to know if there is a plan.

If so, what is it?

Can I get some sort of indication?

Something to tell me I'm on the right track?

Failure stares me in the face.

I see it in my father's eyes,

My nephew's eyes,

In His eyes.

He told me to not blame myself,

But what am I to do?

I obviously did something wrong.

Why did he pick me though?

He said I was special.

I was beautiful and amazing.

He said I was so pretty.

Was it all lies?

I tried to be okay with it.

Prove to him I could deal.

Maybe he would've came back.

But all the madness,

All the psychotic bullshit

It kept spewing craziness at me.

He looked so complacent,

So happy to be rid of me.

I felt like nothing more

Than a lost puppy.

And he kicked at me constantly.

I was a stray amongst his friends.

I felt so lost.

All I wanted was a home,

A place to be happy and accepted.

Now, I'm back to square one.

Failure.

Is that all I am?